Stupid

Death

Death

That stupid idiot over in Syria bombed the damn temple 2000 years old.  WTF!

I don’t like being human. What a stupid choice.  Why the hell would I want to come back here and witness this shit all over again. what the fuck is wrong with me. I’m crying……..the tears come as I feel the pain of all the suffering. what the hell. why me.

I’m going for a run. It seems the only way I can tolerate this hellish planet is the beat myself up.

Talking dead

I’m outside watering the flowers on my dead dogs grave 3 days ago.  No rain.

I glimpse a shadow shape behind me. I turn and see nothing but sense something near.  I said “what do you want?’ no answer. I wait and ask again the same thing.

“I need help” is what I hear.

“what is your name? I ask

“Mack” I hear [mind you the hearing is not through  my ears, its through my mind. Ha, that was funny]

“Who are you?”  I am taken to the house next door in my mind.

[Next door is the Princehorn clan……they owned all the land on my hill but parceled it out for sale.  It was their farm.  The woman still alive is in a nursing home last I knew.]

“You must be her son …husband?” I say

“I died in a wreck” he said

“You need to go to the other side now” I say

“I need the pain to stop”  he says

“You feel pain?” me

“No” him

“What pain to stop?”

“Mom”…..

I wait 1 or 2 minutes……. fill the watering can and say” I’m sorry I can’t make her die or heal her pain.  We have to wait and pray it won’t be long until you are with her again”.

As I leave the dogs grave I turn and say to Mack ” you should go now to the lighted place where you need to be”.

I walk away with a lump in my throat, as it is now.

Out of body -Angelophos and Margols space

all of margole

So I spend time almost everyday in a meditative trance after run,abs/butt/arm work then yoga.

Today’s episode-

[I’m outside sitting on grass with my eyes closed]

Margol  margolethis is him.

met me at Angelophos’s  space.

Spirit guide from Atlantis

Atlantis and Angelophos

“Hi, why are we here?” I asked  [I look like a little boy with overalls on].

“I want to show you both something ” Angelophos says.

We enter his space

Gates of Atlantis

Atlantis And Angelophos

and he brings us to a black and purple space. The colors move and are layered on each other but there is emptiness in between the blurring of the layers. [I’ll draw it.]  It has no walls ceiling or floor.

“What is this space?” I ask

Angelophos says “its the space of Margol. ” [ my eyes open now…never before has this happened]  “Its a space never ending, foreverness.” He says

“Oh thats why his being is constant movement. ” I reply

[now I’m looking all around and can see with my third eye the black and purple space as it toggles to my yard and back to the black and purple space.  I’m in between here and there in reality, out of body.  Freakin cool!]

[Still with my eyes open and the toggling going on, my dog brings me a ball but I don’t move]  “I have to go now….the dog” I say.

“Good bye and thank you.”

[I take 1 minute, close my eyes and get back down to my body. This consists of downward through white space moving down through black space and boom I’m back in the blue and my body]

Pretty running girl, leg sliced

Yesterday-woke from dream about pretty running girls and then morning TV …….once again ……yep……. CATLIN JENNER! HA!

Today’s dream …..sliced my leg almost off….i dono how……….then morning TV……model looses her leg from TSS (toxic shock syndrome).

I wonder if when my practice of yoga increases…….. my psychic ability increases.  I thinks so. I’ve been practicing more and meditating more too.

Snow in July?

Falling though the snow and almost suffocating. Not a great feeling.

The context of the dream was in the driveway of the house I grew up in.  A lot of other mixed up stuff that seems to reflect my family life right now-state of confusion from the dad death thing.   But falling through the snow was the second time it appeared in my dreams.  this time i almost suffocated and woke from it.  not good. means something is going on with the snow somewhere and some one or all of us are going to suffocate from it.  I think it has to do with global warming and the state of the water rising from the snow melting to fast.

Although…… AGAIN …….while drinking my morning energy SPARK drink and watching the idiot box don’t they announce the snow pile in Boston has FINALLY melted………… WTF …………what is the universe trying to tell me?  I know whats going to be on TV?  OH thanks so much universe, this is so important in my life.  I know i should find the deeper meaning of it but sometimes its REALLY hard to.  I mean why is it so cryptic?

maybe its just simply that I can experience whats going to happen.

Great i’ll just keep wishing for the experience of a million dollars to come in the mail!

I have this writing from American Indian Chief Seattle in 1855 he said to president Franklin Pierce and my favorite line is “Continue to contaminate your bed and you will one night suffocate in your own waste”  It also has a picture of a buffalo on it with snow all over him.

Yep….my grand kids better be environmentalists.

Dangling upside down

I woke from a dream at 3 am-an accident.  The guy looked like the actor Mathew McNaughtey. He was upside down dangling from something ……alive.  and then a truck or car came and crashed into him but I never saw it actually hit him.  There was a another guy there talking to him as he dangled and it was gonna hit him too. they were both bloody.

So this morning as I drank my SPARK energy drink and watched TV you guessed it, breaking news….car and motorcycle accident …..one dead.  that’s all they know right now.   and the actors photo flashed on a commercial just before the announcement.

So there you have it.  I guess the trauma of dads death has passed enough to put me back in the premonition business.

Dad died June 7th

Quietly.

He contacted me 2 days later.  I was asleep about 4 am and I hear the phone ring. I woke to hear no phone in the reality.  I closed my eyes and he said “JANET?”  I said “ya” he said “TELL MOM I”M ALRIGHT”.  and hung up.

I love you dad, I told her.