a tub as a toilet….

WTF….really?  simply gross.

Dreamt about shitting and pissing in the bathtube. WTF.  Yep ……….I was…. . shitting and pissing in the bathtub.  Not only that but the BYFD decided to get in it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What the fuck!

woke up in the am …….

morning conversation……

…………..how great it was that the dog shit where she was suppose to.

Every night I see pieces of the next day.

April 2 dreams come true, and more dreams…..


Alligator to monkey is the new movie Monkey Kingdom that just came out….I saw the previews for it 4/11.  I used to have a monkey as a kid so of course I love monkeys

me a yogi.…I attended my first yoga class(even though I’ve been practicing for 10 years) to support of my friends first time as a yogi teacher. In class I thought ..I should do this.

I don’t know about the dog shot thing yet……My dad was diagnosed with an aneurysm in his aorta about the same time as the dream  so maybe thats it.  My mom loves her dog so much I think I’m replacing my dad with dogs.

I dreamt last weekend 4/10 about my dog having a hole in her neck.  I covered it in a crazy contraption pictured below:


So the blood squirted out over her head.  I woke saying “You have to take me to emergency” to my sister who was there.

It looks a bit like a vein that might be burst …an aneurysm.

And the same night I dreamt the field behind my mom and dads house caught fire from lightning.  Yes there was a lightning storm that night on the 10th.  But why my mom and dads place?

AND the same night I dreamt I had to sleep with a tiger….and mind you when I dream it is REAL.  I was so scared.

Dog shot,alligator to monkey,me a yogi, and another fire.

Ha, this reminds me of a tv channel lineup of shows in one night.

In an upstairs city room with people. A guy yelling outside the window below, we all look out ,he points a gun at us an shots a bunch of times, i get shot but still moving and so does my moms dog. mom says we can’t save him and i crdl him crying and wake up….sobbing of course.

i go back to sleep and the im walking down a street in a suburb with a person and an alligator comes out and chases me but it was funny and then a it changes to a a gibbon monkey ,white colored, and it has a thorn in its paw so it gives me its paw begging me to take it out, i do and hes so happy, hugging me.

THEN….i’m floating on an inner tube in a giant square pool in a fancy place in india.  i am a yogi , they hired me to perform a marriage in the pool . as i float i try not to look too silly by falling in and i float by a woman with a baby.I hold the baby and it is a girl but looks like a miniature person, almost a barbie doll.

i wake up feeling really tired.

So far I haven’t seen any of it but I will.

I think i’ll put it on canvas as a painting…….

2 days ago I was laying in bed in the morning almost a wake about 6:3- am and I felt as though I was a burn victom under the sheets.  i saw the tent they use to cana py the patient so the sheeets don’t touch them because of the pain it would cause.  i lay there thinks how terrible it must be to be burned and in pain.

an hour later the local and CNN news shows a fireman falling through a roof and engulfed in flames that happened the previous day….i think it was on youtube too.  He is in critical condition…..40% burned.

I killed my dog

She is gone to the other side.  I ….no me and my daughter decided…..it was time to take her out of the painful state of drugs and being alive.  she looked at me and asked for help …time to leave and move to ne next life…..i cant describe no more right noe.

House on fire

I woke up at 3 am this morning…….peed and pet my dying dog taya…….went back to bed and tried to fall asleep “om mani padme hum” i say to my self to sleep…..eyes closed….almost there…..and saw of my friend, she gave me my new puppy mika,and saw her run next door to her house to her mothers burning house….it was burning from the top…….

alarm goes off….6 am…..get my “spark” b vitamin drink and amino acid “catalyst” capsules….turn on the kitchen tv change the channel to the am news….maybe hannas school is closed its so fucking cold out.  nope…..but the house on fire is there. not my friends mothers house but its a house on fire on top flames shooting out….a family escaped……..COOL…..yep the fire company was called at 3:40 am……..

thats the start of my day.

Spark in my eye

Last night the dog woke up my byfd and at that moment as I was kinda awoken but  my eyes were closed …a spark of light, blueish white shown itself in my left eye, with my eyes closed. Hummmmm.

Now you need to know my dog taya is dying of a cancerous tumor.   she is 10 and has been with us for all 10.  Its really hard to watch her wither,  i can’t help thinking that spark of light was part of her.

but then i thought maybe i was wrong …. my eyes closed-after the spark….its not taya …..i said to myself…..its a soul crossing that needs my help…..so i crossed them in my mind saying its okay you can go now.  but now later on today i wonder if it was a piece of taya wanting to leave. maybe preparing me for the soon to come day when i’ll have to make the decision for her …..that its time for her to move across.  i can’t even fathom it.  you’d think it would be easy for me.  maybe a small piece escaped her and wanted to go…….it could be that way as your body slowly dies i suppose,pieces leave,consciousness leaves in pieces, a slow stream of energy maybe.  what else was it?

never a day goes by that a newness shows itself to me