I knew he died

My byf had a cousin with pancreatic cancer. diagnosed 2 years ago. we heard he was close to death as he stopped eating.  I woke up 3 am to pee and as i stumbled outta bed i knew he had died.

i forget about it until…..

the next afternoon my byf calls at 1 pm. i tell him i already know.  know what? i know he died. how? YOU KNOW THE DEAD COME TO ME! i shout over the phone.  i’ve been with the guy for 10 fuckin years.  you’d think he’d know by now.

it’s interesting how sometimes i need a piece of information from reality to remind me of what i know.  Dejavu most call it.  i can’t spell it.


Ghost cat

She walked across my bed and woke me  kinda in a half sleep state then all these kittens start licking my face.  I thought you guys live in the basement and your full of flees……and went back to sleep.

Such a crazy “dream”outta nowhere it seems.  Visitation is more like it I guess.  I dono any recent cats that have died.  I have 2 cats.  I do have a hamster that has been scratching all day and is close to death but that’s not a cat.  he is in the cats room though and they are quite fascinated with him.

My life………. is rooted in death……..oh well at least I know my purpose.


So sad it took me days……

to write about this.  When I realized what the dream was about I cried so hard……..

I am having trouble finding the words to write this.

It was about the terror attack in Paris.

It was early friday morning and i ran from bombs  and fire in a city street at night. i said “i gotta get out of here.”

Then I got in a boat and crossed water with litter in it.

The tv pictures match my dream.

I’m sad.

Gum wad

Listening to tv this am and they talked about gum wad wall and news paper article about gum wads under chairs in theater. Last night i dremt about 1 gum wad in garbage pail and i threw in another. then saw 2 gum wads in the pail and thought about how hard it is gona be to get it out. very enlightening isn’t it.  I also remembered something about loosing my favorite hat, so I got up to find it where it always hangs, not lost.  Hummmmmmmm i wonder if i dremt it?

Phone# from the missing…

So it was suggested to me by the Empath Evolution that I ask the missing girl who contacted me 3 years ago for the way to contact her mother so I could give her mother the information the girl wants me too.  So i did ask her and she did come forward and gave me a phone number so i called it and it was a number for an automated text messaging service so i left a messege that said simple “im looking for dawn drexel she can reach me at this number”.  im not sure how  the service works so maybe i;ll try again tomorrow and leave my number.  i donno but it was enlightening for sure.

Out of body

This was interesting…..yesterday

In bed asleep early AM and I’m asleep I hear my phone ring and answer it, Hi, hows my baby the male voice says.   I say which baby? (Because I have 2)  Well it never talks back and I wake up.  So about an hour after I get out of bed I remember the phone call.  I check my phone cuz I think it really happened.  Well no phone call.  Hummmm I think.   But it happened……..Well no it didn’t maybe….well i figure out it was a dream, but I could FEEL the phone when I answered it.  Well im pretty sure it was my dead father because he called my mom “baby”  as he was dying.  He called me once before after he died to say “tell mom I’m fine”.   So the new thing is how real it was.  it was very hard to figure out it was in my sleep a dream.  I had out of body experience before with my dad when he pulled into the driveway at our house and I was standing in it watching him but was really in bed asleep.  It is a very interesting thing this shifting into dimensions and not knowing when thing is real or what IS real.

Also my friends mother went to emergency and she posted on FB about it yesterday.  And this  morning I woke and knew her mother was passing away.  She just posted she died at 2 pm today.