Stupid

Death

That stupid idiot over in Syria bombed the damn temple 2000 years old.  WTF!

I don’t like being human. What a stupid choice.  Why the hell would I want to come back here and witness this shit all over again. what the fuck is wrong with me. I’m crying……..the tears come as I feel the pain of all the suffering. what the hell. why me.

I’m going for a run. It seems the only way I can tolerate this hellish planet is the beat myself up.

Talking dead

I’m outside watering the flowers on my dead dogs grave 3 days ago.  No rain.

I glimpse a shadow shape behind me. I turn and see nothing but sense something near.  I said “what do you want?’ no answer. I wait and ask again the same thing.

“I need help” is what I hear.

“what is your name? I ask

“Mack” I hear [mind you the hearing is not through  my ears, its through my mind. Ha, that was funny]

“Who are you?”  I am taken to the house next door in my mind.

[Next door is the Princehorn clan……they owned all the land on my hill but parceled it out for sale.  It was their farm.  The woman still alive is in a nursing home last I knew.]

“You must be her son …husband?” I say

“I died in a wreck” he said

“You need to go to the other side now” I say

“I need the pain to stop”  he says

“You feel pain?” me

“No” him

“What pain to stop?”

“Mom”…..

I wait 1 or 2 minutes……. fill the watering can and say” I’m sorry I can’t make her die or heal her pain.  We have to wait and pray it won’t be long until you are with her again”.

As I leave the dogs grave I turn and say to Mack ” you should go now to the lighted place where you need to be”.

I walk away with a lump in my throat, as it is now.

Out of body -Angelophos and Margols space

So I spend time almost everyday in a meditative trance after run,abs/butt/arm work then yoga.

Today’s episode-

[I’m outside sitting on grass with my eyes closed]

Margol  this is him.

met me at Angelophos’s  space.

Atlantis and Angelophos

“Hi, why are we here?” I asked  [I look like a little boy with overalls on].

“I want to show you both something ” Angelophos says.

We enter his space

Atlantis And Angelophos

and he brings us to a black and purple space. The colors move and are layered on each other but there is emptiness in between the blurring of the layers. [I’ll draw it.]  It has no walls ceiling or floor.

“What is this space?” I ask

Angelophos says “its the space of Margol. ” [ my eyes open now…never before has this happened]  “Its a space never ending, foreverness.” He says

“Oh thats why his being is constant movement. ” I reply

[now I’m looking all around and can see with my third eye the black and purple space as it toggles to my yard and back to the black and purple space.  I’m in between here and there in reality, out of body.  Freakin cool!]

[Still with my eyes open and the toggling going on, my dog brings me a ball but I don’t move]  “I have to go now….the dog” I say.

“Good bye and thank you.”

[I take 1 minute, close my eyes and get back down to my body. This consists of downward through white space moving down through black space and boom I’m back in the blue and my body]